The land of Stars and Stripes

The land of Stars and Stripes – where everything is jumbo size! 

San Francisco was its famously foggy self when we finally touched down and to our slight surprise we felt a fair bit of culture shock too. Suddenly we had to get used to seeing homeless people, eating huge portion sizes of fatty over processed food and we could read all the street signs and ask for directions. We spent a couple of days walking the streets which we found to be an excellent way to see the sights before checking in with a long lost friend for a good a catch up.

After spaghetti and red wine flowing the talk got louder and louder until the neighbours told us to quieten down. With slightly sore heads we made our way out for a Mexican breakfast and to the Pacific Ocean for a cool dip. The science museum was another highlight with all its animals and different ecosystems on display. The afternoon was spent sampling some of San Fransisco’s finest craft beer firstly at the local park where every sort of human creature was on display and then at a local watering hole which served Pliny the elder – the number one IPA in the world. 

Sunday morning dawned and it was time for us to pick up our camper which just so happened to be pink and called flamingo much to Lucy's delight! We cruised down the west coast and found driving pretty easy although we both enjoyed hugging the shoulder a bit too closely at times. After a few picture stops between the fog we arrived at Big Sur and camped in a dried up riverbed only to be awoken at 12.30am by the local sheriff who thought we should move out onto the road. The next day we went for a 32km walk into these secluded hot springs which were well worth the effort.

It took us 3 days to get to LA and in that time we saw whales spouting offshore, hiked 22miles to a hot spring and back, visited Hearst castle and spent a day at the roller coasters. Hearst castle was built in the early 1900s to house the owners artworks. It took 20 odd years to build and was a real eclectic mix of cultures. Roofing was from Italian churches while the doorways and windows were pillaged from somewhere else…

Nick had a deprived childhood and had never been on a roller coaster so we hit up 6 flags. Arriving early we were greeted with a mad rush and themed music as we entered. Not having any clue what rides were fast, thrilling or downright scary we jumped on X2 which just happened to be the scariest at the park. We hurtled headfirst facing the sky and generally just being thrown everywhere… It was going to be a long day if they all were like this. Fortunately we got the hang of this activity and tried out most of the rides although a mid afternoon nap was needed as the temperatures were pushing 42 degrees.

Sharing is caring so we had invited our friend Grace to join us for a week or so. Being laid back naive kiwis we headed to LAX airport knowing only that Grace was flying from Canada arriving at 9.30pm and we had no way of contacting her (how did people survive before phones). We found our way to the airport without a hitch and then proceeded to circle around the pickup area. Little did we know that there was at least 8 terminals and 10 lanes of traffic! But after circling the car park for 2 ½ hours we picked up our companion.

We decided that LA wasn't really the easiest place be a tourist with a camper so after a stroll along Venice beach we joined highway 101 again and proceeded South. This took us some time as we all know what LA traffic is like! A quick stop for fuel, food and a swim at Laguna beach and we were finally out of LA headed for Joshua Tree National Park. As the temperature climbed and the miles ticked by we knew we were getting close. Along the way we passed through some very inhospitable places to live – I don't know what they do for jobs and some bizarre cities like Palm Springs. At 44 degrees you didn't want to be outside for long and certainly not playing golf but out in amongst this desert in stark contrast were these bright green immaculate golf courses complete with water features. Who knows where the water was coming from! 

Joshua tree was amazing. The landscape was so different to anything back home and we certainly appreciated how difficult it is for anything to survive here as the temperature was well over 40 with no humidity. It was a struggle but we did a couple of small walks and admired the vastness of the area. The Joshua trees themselves punctuate this scene even more so so it really did seem like a fairytale. We camped the night in the park and the sunset and night sky is simply too hard to describe. 

Leaving the park the next morning our vans breaks had gone from squeaky to down right graunchy so it was time to find a mechanic which proved harder than expected – it was a Saturday though. Finally after a number of phone calls to Escape Rentals and mechanics we found one back in Palm Springs. This niggly detour took a couple of hours driving, 4 hours waiting and $750 for a full brake overhaul. The break pads were worn to the metal! We will be having stern words to Escape on our return!

In order to make up a bit of time we drove until just after dark and crashed for the night at a very noisy truck stop. We did however drive through some amazingly vast desert areas, most of which were for sale, and the twilight colours were fabulous. Up early to restock supplies and then it was on to historic Route 66 bound for the South rim of the Grand Canyon. The old memorabilia, milk bars and saloons that lined Route 66 made for an entertaining drive before turning onto the very busy road into the Grand Canyon. After a short walk around the rim we found a good spot for sunset. The school holidays have begun so the campsites are chocker, not to worry us, parking up in the backcountry car park we avoided detection and having to fork out any prized dollars. Lucy and I bombed it down into the canyon early the next morning and were slightly annoyed to have misread the map times and the fact that there were water stops everywhere. Thus we decided not to mission it all the way to the bottom and instead opt for a 12 mile round trip which offered great views to the cool water below but no swim!

Departing the Grand Canyon we headed further East to page and Lake Powell where we finally got to cool off in the man made lake. The red rock formations provided a great backdrop and the drop-off to the Colorado river at Horseshoe Bend was equally impressive. We were certainly getting the most out of our national park pass as we visited Bryce Canyon high in the mountains. Here the soft mud stone has been eroded away to leave tall hoodoos which make the area look like you're walking on another planet. We walked through the park and went to a star party where we got to look through telescopes at Saturn and Jupiter. 

Zion national park was our next stop and the canyons here were epic. We camped deep in the canyon, swam in the river and did two great walks. Angels Landing was the first which involved a steep climb up some switchbacks before clambering along a rock ledge with 1000 foot drops on each side. The views were worth battling through some of the 53 000 people who visit the park a day! For the afternoon mission we walked the Narrows walk which involves wading and rock hopping upriver deep in the canyon. The patterns carved into the walls were cool and the temperature was too.

Leaving Zion we bootlegged it to Vegas to get Grace to her flight to Canada before we hit the strip for a wild night out! Lucy was hungry so a pizza was ordered, it just so happened to be the biggest pizza ever and very tasty and would last us for lunch, dinner and a left over piece for breakfast (or late night munchies as it happened). 

We decided that it would be rude not to go out dressed up (and we didn't have any real night life clothes) so after a small walk we found a very eclectic antique shop that contained anything you could think of. Costumes selected and a few beers purchased it was off to a burlesque show called Fantasy. 

After purchasing some super large iced margaritas the show kicked off in style. The ladies were amazing and it definitely lived up to its name of being the best show in Vegas. After the show we wandered down the strip. Unfortunately we didn't make our fortune that night so we couldn't upgrade Flamingo to a MinniWinne (aka Winnebago) so we are on the road again and heading West towards Sierra Nevada Mountains and the 4th July.

Ho Chi Minh-Bangkok-Guangzhou-Wuhan-San Francisco

Let’s call it the adventure from Asia to America… 4 flights, 5 days the best and worst hotel and some truly sour faced people.

Leaving Vietnam - after saying our farewells to Wazza over a few 50cent beers we jumped on a long but uneventful nightbus from Nha Trang to Ho Chi Min. We arrived bright and early and navigated our way to the airport on a local bus without a word of english! Similarly we found our rundown hotel in Bangkok using public transport and made it poolside. 

Due to a slight booking mistake we had two nights in Bangkok instead of the desired one so we decided a wee wonder to the park would keep us entertained. Then spent a few hours walking around the grounds and even had a workout on the many free open aired gym machines. As the mercury began to hit the late 30’s it was time to seek out the pool.

Now for the real adventure to begin….. our flight to Guangzhou was harmless enough until we hit the immigration desk. I seem to recall writing about our experiences with boarders before… here is another.

So China has a policy that no visa is required if you are transiting and staying less than 72 hours. Cool that is what we were doing. Only our airline failed to inform us that we had a very short flight and lay over in another city in china which therefore negated the visa….

To cut along story short we avoided paying immigration anything and sat in the airport for 7 long hours (until after midnight) and obtained a free 24 hour visa (we were in china for longer – don’t get their logic). So at 1am successfully in China we were put up by our airline at a very pimping hotel. After a huge sleep a free breakfast and lunch we were finally turfed out. 

So we thought we better make the most of our free reign and made it into the city and the skungiyest hotel of our travels to date on the metro (Wazza the bed was harder than that one you had). The city of Guangzhou had more high rises than I have seen in my entire life, was much cleaner and less chaotic than anticipated but the people had to be the most sour. We wandered around the city center which was entertaining enough and then proceeded to the top of the Canton tower which is certainly high. The views from the top were fine if not a little restricted by the dense pollution. A fine meal guess ordered by the pictures followed before bed then a plane to America. 

So the people and the service… The saying goes a smile means hello in a 1000 different languages well that might just exclude China. Everywhere we went we were met with cold hard stares. Not even a smile, hello or “knee how” would crack their face…. This was a huge contrast to the waves, high fives and hellos we got wherever we went in Cambodia and Vietnam. 

The service was worse, at one restaurant we could not help but laugh out loud in the face of the waitress as she informed us to pay (the only word she said) while she was face down on her phone. 

Put it down to an experience but china you are not for me!

Good Morning Vietnam: don't tell Mum about the motorbikes or rice 'wine'

Have we discussed boarder crossings before? The Cambodia/Vietnam was more of an adventure than the last!

Well after a comfortable enough minivan trip (even with the Russian and Polish trying to make problems and some minor delays and a couple of van changes) we made it through to Vietnam. It was still seriously hot and this is where the real adventure began. A long wait saw us finally on a very rickety old bus with a supposedly 4 hour ride ahead. We were no more than 20 minutes into our trip when our Polish lady refused to let a lady sit beside her… Well talk about fighting fire with fire, the little ticket girl screamed and thumped the seats until finally the Polish lady moved, much to our sniggering delight. Let's just say that after 13 hours on the worst road, carrying the most traffic and averaging just 30kph, we made it to the bus station in Can Tho. The station just so happened to be 5km from the city centre and there wasn't a tuk tuk in sight… No worries we piled onto the back of 3 motorbikes and just like a real life fast and furious ride we raced each other and the million other scooters to a hotel to end a long but highly eventful day.

Stylie chauffeur.

Just to keep the adventure rolling we decided to take a boat trip along part of the Mekong delta to see floating markets in action. The only catch the boat left at 5.30am. It was a great morning out and we ended up doing about 45km on the river seeing everything from dead dogs to overloaded barges and piles and piles of fruit. A quick cold shower and some Kai it was on a bus to Ho Chi Minh. So would you believe the bus was actually very comfortable and arrived early?

Floating markets on the Mekong, it was all business. 

Our shock was soon dashed as we were hounded by taxi drivers and saw the share number of scooters. They were everywhere… it was carnage. We took a tour to the chu chi tunnels which consisted of over 250km of underground tunnels built for war purposes. It was highly educational to learn just how good the Viet Con were at stalking, foiling and terrorising the american soldiers. Their booby traps and resourcefulness had to be admired, however barbaric.

Chu Chi tunnels

Time out from the hussel and bussle of Ho Chi Minh

We decided we had had enough of scooters and people so took a night bus to the central highland city of Delat. Famous for its cooler climate, mountainous scenery and canyoning we jumped on a trip down the river. It consisted of abseiling, floating, bouncing and jumping our way downstream. All in all very good fun and great value for money even if some of the safety was a little slack…

We absailed down this then had to jump off backwards from about 4m

One of the other things Delat and the central highlands are famous for is motorbike tours. So with a little convincing we blew out our budget and signed up for a 3 day tour from Delat to Nha Trang. We were assured that we would be taken off the beaten path and be shown what Vietnam was really about and they lived up to their word. Our drivers were great, full of knowledge and very keen to show us a good time (and drink lots of rice wine (vodka)). We saw every primary industry imaginable from a silk factory, to a coffee plantation complete with weasels to eat the beans and poo them out (adds flavour apparently). 

Bare, deforested hills in thedistance 

An evening spent in a tradtional longhouse, dinner and drinks with the locals.

We passed through numerous hill tribe villages most of which were from the north but the government had moved them south to clear the forest and set up plantations. The scale of destruction was sometimes incomprehensible. The hillsides around every bend were being logged or burnt and the exposed soils were just running off – I guess it would have been very similar to NZ 100 or so years ago. How long the coffee plantations will last on such steep terrain is anyones guess.

Lucy, center of attention with the local hilltribe medicine woman 

Lending a hand to husk rice

At times we were also on the infamous Hi Chi Minh trail (or branches of it) which was used throughout the war to carry supplies from North Vietnam to the South. Much to the Americans anguish - and use of every known weapon including agent orange - they never managed to foil this roading network. The motorbike trip was a blast, seeing backcountry Vietnam on mostly dirt roads. I’d definitely recommend using Easy Rider (the company) if you are planning something similar. But be sure to get the legit people in the blue vests/jackets. 

After a long winding decent and an huge seafood buffet we had completed our 500km roady and had made it beachside. 

The final day of our travel as a tricycle was spent making sure Wazza could survive the next week or so without a wallet or access to money, cooling off at the beach with the thousands of Russian holiday makers and sorting our next moves…